I'm trying . I fill every moment with tasks that distract, to ignore, to complete, to ask why ?
Why am I pretending to look normal ? Why do I lie to make you feel better. I am no martyr , and yet when asked I'll deny my pain, so hard another talk about my future will be.
I sit to rest, to reflect most of my day I spend facing the deterioration of my soul. Every hour I am awake I watch as more and more of who I am disappears. Lost forever and completely.
I do not want you to know too much , I just want you to remember the real me. It's selfish, I know, but if I can't stay here with you, then I want to be kept within your heart, where I will never be forgotten.
That is pushing the envelope; swallowing the pain to comfort someone who can’t know or fully understand. That is good stuff! You amaze me with your skills!